Sunday, April 17, 2011

~ The day her heart changed ~

        

She was in high spirits to be giving the last exam of her high school. Little did she know that her spirits would die soon. She walked out of the gates, found her friends joking around. Surroundings were noisy, everyone busy deciding where they should party. And then she remembered. She had to confirm some news she had heard recently. Scrounging in crowd, she finally spotted her batch mate. With all the courage she could gather, she walked up to him, carefully chose her words and said, “I heard your brother isn’t well. Is everything all alright?” He could sense the tension lingering in the air but he instantly replied, “He’s good”.  That was when she knew she had to say it, so taking another deep breath she rephrased, “Is he  ...umm... suffering from  ...” and he knew what she was talking about. With her question hanging incompletely, he answered, “yes. But how do you know?”
She only heard him say ‘yes’ and rest of his words disappeared in thin air. Her mind went numb. She didn’t know what to say, how to react – to him, to her own self, to the situation. She just turned around and started walking. And before she knew, she was crossing her friends without hearing their continuous calls and in some time, she was home.  She rang the bell and her mother answered the door. There must have been something her mother had seen on her face that she didn’t say a word. She quietly went her room where she sat on her bed, staring blankly in air. She didn’t look up when her mother came to sit beside her.
Her mother wasn’t expecting her anytime soon, since she knew it was the last exam and it was positive that she would go out with her friends but there she was; her face looked scared. She put her arm around her daughter and her daughter suddenly cuddled in her arms and started crying. In between the loud sobs, she heard her say, “Kunal has blood cancer”.  And she said no more for she knew nothing could help her daughter other than crying. So, she let her do so.
Kunal was her senior. She became a good friend of his in a very short period of time. He was the sweetest guy she had ever seen, with a caring heart like no other. They became friends on a random day and had talked often since then. He had proposed to her but she never thought of him as more than a friend so they remained friends. But ever since he had proposed her, she started to feel a little bugged with his flirting and mostly because she knew she was hurting him every moment she talked to him. She knew it was difficult for him but she couldn’t do anything. She got irritated and often she ended up being rude to him; without any intention to do so. And that was why she was crying.
All day and the night that followed, she sat in her dark room and cried. She was angry with God for what he did to him. He didn’t deserve all that and on top of it, why had He made her go through all that. Knowing that she had hurt a dying heart killed her too. More than God, she was angry with herself.
The only time she had stopped crying was when her father entered her room. In a chat for less than few minutes, because also he knew nothing could help her, he told her to be strong and face the reality. He asked her to make best of the opportunity; now at least she knew the truth and she could, as a minimum, try to make upto him. Then he walked out, leaving her alone to deal with the situation.
She was angry, scared, sad, wounded and helpless at the same time. She cried herself to sleep and when she woke up next morning, she found Kunal waiting for her in the drawing room. She couldn’t gather the courage to face him but she had to. She had decided last night that she would be strong and she would do anything to keep him happy now. Her heart still aching, she pulled herself out of the bed, washed her face and sat in front of him. For a few minutes, there was deafening silence in the room. He was the one to speak, “how are you?” She couldn’t believe her ears; the guy who was suffering from a terminal disease is asking her how she was? She felt a lump in her throat and all she could do was to nod at his question. Another period of silence. And then, he finally talked.
“Please, don’t cry. I have come to terms in dealing with it and I don’t know how you got to know but I am glad I don’t have to hide it from you anymore. It’s saddening, I agree, but nothing can be done. Am living happily and that’s what I want from you to. I want you to be happy and cheerful like you always are. Don’t let this affect you in any way because I know you’ll always be with me, even when am irritating. And I want nothing more.” She sighed at that. She stood up and went to sit beside him. And for the first time she looked straight in his eyes. She could see fear in his eyes - fear of death, fear of losing his friends, fear of losing his family. She just sat there, staring at him for she had no words to say. So he continued, “Don’t worry. I am going through treatment and hopefully I’ll be fine one day. I want to stay happy and not waste any moment being sad so please, cheer up. Let’s not talk about this ever again and lead our lives normally.”
After sitting with her for few more hours, he left. She felt little better for all the things he had said but she still couldn’t believe; how can God create such a guy with a pure heart like that and not let him live? But like he said, nothing can be done. Accepting the harsh reality, she decided it was time she got up and continued with her life because that was the best she could do. From then on, she made sure that she told people how good they were, how lucky she was to have them in her life, and how lucky they were to have a good life. And from that very day, her view had changed.




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